sinusoidal faith

Sometimes I find it very hard to believe in God. Sometimes I find it so unbelievable, but just go right on believing anyway. As if He really was there. Faking it.

I used to be so convinced, beyond shades of doubt. Sometimes I like to remember those good old days, when He was so real, and I begin to envy myself. And if I get lucky, I might even revive that feeling of real-ness.

Now, it's just mostly unbelievable.

But once in a while, I just know that it's true, and that's why I'm writing this.